The Silence Tax - Why Women Get Passed Over for Jobs—And What You Can Do About It
- Dorothy Mashburn
- May 1
- 3 min read
Somewhere between being a high achiever and trying not to come off too strong, a lot of women picked up the habit of shrinking their stories.
You have done this countless times.
You lead a major project. You hold the team together. You hit the targets.
But when you sit down in the interview and they ask about it?
You start softening the language.
You say, “We worked hard.”
You say, “It was a team effort.”
You don’t say, “I made that happen.”
And then someone else—maybe someone with half the experience—walks in, owns their part without hesitation, and walks away with the offer.
That moment? That’s the silence tax.
It’s the cost women pay for not speaking plainly about the work they’ve done.
It shows up in smaller salaries, missed roles, and a constant uphill climb to be taken seriously.
And it’s one of the biggest reasons why women get passed over for jobs, even when they’re the most qualified.
You’ve Done the Work. But They Don’t Know That
A lot of mid-career women I work with aren’t unsure of their value. They know what they’ve accomplished. What throws them off is how to talk about it.
They think they’re being modest.
They don’t want to sound like they’re bragging.
They assume the interviewer will just “get it” based on the title or the resume.
But interviews aren’t memory tests. They’re visibility tests.
You have to make it clear how your work connects to results—because no one else is going to fill in the blanks for you.
The Cost of Staying Quiet
Let’s call it what it is: there’s a price for shrinking.
You get labeled “solid” instead of “standout.”
You end up training the person who gets the job you were hoping for.
You get praised for being collaborative—but not promoted.
And the worst part? You start to doubt yourself.
Not because you’ve failed, but because you’ve been overlooked so many times you start wondering if maybe it’s you.
It’s not. It’s the silence tax. And you’ve paid it long enough.
Here’s How to Start Talking About Your Work Like It Matters
If you’re tired of walking out of interviews thinking, “I should’ve said that differently,” here’s what you can do:
1. Get to the point
Start with the result. If you helped increase revenue, improve efficiency, or deliver something ahead of schedule—say that first. Don’t bury the lead in a long backstory.
2. Drop the “we.”
Yes, you’re a team player. But if you were the one who led the work, say so. Try:
“I led the redesign.”
“I negotiated the contract.”
“I was responsible for the outcome.”
You’re not taking credit from others—you’re finally claiming your share of it.
3. Practice saying it out loud
You can have all the accomplishments in the world, but if you can’t say them clearly when it counts, they don’t land. This isn’t about sounding perfect. It’s about sounding like you believe yourself.
You Don’t Need to Be More Qualified. You Need to Be Heard.
You’ve already done the hard part. You’ve delivered. You’ve led. You’ve grown.
The next step is learning how to talk about that work in a way that lands with decision-makers.
That’s exactly what we’re going to work on in my upcoming workshop:
How to Talk About Your Impact in Job Interviews
This free session is for mid-career women who are done playing it safe and ready to start showing up with power and presence.
Register here:
You’ve done the work. Let’s make sure they know that.
Dorothy Mashburn is on a mission to empower women of color (and allies!) to steer their career journey and confidently negotiate their value. She can be reached here.
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