The Executive Presence bias

She had the results. He had the vibe. Guess who got the promotion?

“Executive presence” is often described as the missing ingredient between competence and leadership. The unspoken assumption? That it’s something you either naturally exude—or don’t.

Tired of waiting. Ready to take action!

But in practice, executive presence (as practiced) is a floating standard defined mostly by those already in power. And more often than not, it operates as a quiet filter that keeps women stuck in mid-tier roles while elevating others with less output but more “presence.”

“You just need more gravitas.” “You’re not quite there yet.” “You could work on your tone.”

Vague. Subjective. Reassuringly professional-sounding. And career-stalling.

Trusted but Not Seen

I want to share a story about Rachel*, a senior marketing director at a Fortune 100 company. Over four years, she delivered multi-million-dollar campaigns, mentored a global team, and consistently outperformed peer benchmarks. Her internal performance reviews were spotless.

She applied for a VP role. She didn’t get it.

The feedback was that she wasn’t “quite ready to set enterprise-wide vision.” She needed to work on her executive presence. When she asked what that meant, she was told to “get some executive level coaching” and “take up more space at the table.”

Meanwhile, another candidate Jason* was promoted into the role. Jason had been in the company for half as long, hadn’t led a team at scale, and was once flagged for not finishing a major product launch on time. But he was “confident,” “visionary,” and “had a strong presence with the executive team.”

Rachel wasn’t even in the room where vision was discussed. Jason played golf with the SVP.

*Name changed. Story pattern familiar.

What Executive Presence Really Means

Sylvia Ann Hewlett, economist and author of Executive Presence, breaks the concept into three parts: appearance, communication, and gravitas. But all three are loaded terms, vulnerable to implicit bias.

In Harvard Business Review’s research, women were 22% more likely than men to receive feedback on their “communication style” and “presentation.” Men, on the other hand, were more often evaluated on performance, strategic thinking, and business results.

In short: Men get judged on what they deliver. Women on how they show up.

Stanford’s Clayman Institute found that women leaders are disproportionately given style-based feedback -too emotional, too serious, too direct, too passive.

The target moves, but the outcome is the same: she is left guessing how to be enough without being too much.

The Systemic Cost

Companies say they value meritocracy. But the moment advancement hinges on an undefinable trait like “executive presence,” merit becomes negotiable.

• Talented women stay parked in operational roles because they’re seen as “reliable.”

• High-potential managers are told to “wait their turn.”

• Candidates with relationships, not results, leap ahead.

This is not about coaching women to perform better in meetings. It’s about the invisible standards that shape who gets labeled as “leader material.”

And that standard? It still defaults to a polished, confident, male-coded norm. Executive presence, in practice, often just means “reminds me of myself.”

What Actually Works

If you’re a woman receiving this kind of feedback, you are not alone and you’re not the problem.

What changes outcomes:

• Clear, observable promotion criteria tied to business impact

• Real sponsorship, not just mentorship

• Visibility to senior decision-makers, not just peer praise

• And for the candidate: a sharp, strategic narrative that ties your work to enterprise-level outcomes

This is where negotiation, positioning, and language matter. If the rules are informal, your framing has to be intentional. I help my clients with this formula.

The Bottom Line on executive presence Bias

Companies are hemorrhaging high-performing women because these high performing leaders are tired of proving they belong.

Executive presence will remain a lie as long as it’s defined in hindsight by those already in the room. And until that changes, we’ll keep watching the same story unfold:

She performs. He’s promoted.

And everyone insists it’s just about “fit.”

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 Tired of vague feedback? Let’s talk about how to position yourself as the obvious choice for your next promotion. Book a call.