The Toughest Lesson I Learned: Waiting Doesn’t Work

Dorothy Mashburn
Jul 31
3 min read

I stayed at a company for six years when deep down I knew I should have left in year two.

At first, I chalked it up to a rough patch. Every company has politics, right? I told myself it would get better. That I just had to work harder. Be more patient. Keep proving myself.

Mostly, I told myself to suck it up.

But that voice in the back of my head kept whispering: This isn’t right. This isn’t it.

The culture was toxic. Leaders played favorites. People who did the bare minimum got promoted while I picked up the slack and smiled through it.

And I kept waiting

Waiting for it to magically change.

Waiting for someone to notice me.

Waiting for recruiters to call with that perfect next step.

They didn’t.

Year three came.

Then four.

Then five.

I watched my confidence take hit after hit. I told myself I should be grateful because I had a good title and steady pay. But the truth was, I was burned out. Resentful. Questioning if I was even cut out for leadership anymore.

And that scared me the most - how much I started to doubt myself. I had skills but I kept discounting their value. Staying too long in the wrong environment will do that to you. It chips away at you slowly, like water wearing down stone.

It wasn’t until year six (six!) that I finally did something different.

I hired a coach

Something inside clicked into place. I said to myself - you can't afford to keep living on autopilot. Frankly, I was tired of talking in circles. Getting my hopes up. Just tired of DIY-ing my career and trying to patch things with constant trial and error.

Coaching helped me move while I still had doubts and it was eye opening.

I thought I needed a better resume. Or a new strategy. But what I really needed was someone in my corner. Someone who could help me stop spinning in circles and start making real progress.

That coaching was definitely exactly what I needed-

It gave me structure, accountability, and a push to act before I was “ready.”

We need the push

As a coach, I see the same pattern in so many of the women I speak to.

One woman I spoke to back in February told me she was going to do the search on her own. “I just need to tweak my resume,” she said. “I’ve done this before.”

She finally signed up last month. And now she’s landing multiple interviews. Her positioning is tight. Her confidence is back.

But the sad truth is that we could have fast-tracked those five months.

I equate it to how I was post Covid - trying to lose weight. Of course you can do it on your own. I kept working at it for 2 years. I kept quitting and restarting!

And then finally got a dietician to help me. With her support, accountability, and a strategy, I shed those pounds in 8 months.

I get it sometimes you have to learn the same lesson over and over again before it sinks in – I did it (and still do!)

It is so easy to tell yourself: “I’ll figure it out on my own.”

But months pass. Then years.

And you’re still stuck, still underpaid, still wondering when your moment will come.

This is your moment if you choose to take it.